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What Benefits Can a Nanny Ask For?

Same Job, Different Life

You arrive at the family’s home for your first day. The contract is signed, the rate agreed upon. You’re a nanny now.

One friend, also a nanny, starts her mornings with a stocked fridge, a weekly gas stipend, and a daily text from her employer: “Let me know if you need anything today!” She has paid sick days, a clear end time, and a respectful tone around boundaries.

You? You’re constantly leaving later than agreed, loading the baby into your own car (which quickly gets messy from snacks and spills) while not seeing a dime for gas or mileage. You’re wiping down countertops that aren’t part of the job, and quietly losing money every time you get sick, because everyone just assumed that when the parents go on vacation, you get your me-time, of course, unpaid. But for you, it doesn’t feel like a relaxing break. It feels like yet another week without income.

And that’s the hidden truth of nanny work: the benefits you negotiate before day one shape everything after it. Same job title. Same hourly rate. Completely different quality of life.

Now let’s flip the perspective.

You finally find someone you trust: kind, experienced, exactly the kind of person you want caring for your child. But she prefers to be paid off the books. You pause.

You're surprised, but also willing to go along with it. After all, she seems like the perfect fit, and you don’t want to risk losing her. Maybe you don’t ask questions because you assume she has her reasons. Maybe you’re trying to be respectful. Or maybe, deep down, you know the arrangement gives you flexibility too.

She’s asking for cash, that implies trust, informality, and a kind of mutual understanding. You think of it as contract work: you pay for a service, hourly. So it makes sense, you’re not thinking about overtime, sick days, or guaranteed pay during vacation weeks. After all, she’s not a salaried employee. There’s no paperwork, no HR manual. It’s a handshake. It’s personal. It feels fair.

One Agreement, Two Interpretations

But here’s where the gap often begins: two people agreeing on a job, but picturing very different versions of it.

One thinks of benefits as extras. The other sees them as the difference between burnout and balance. One assumes cash pay replaces formality. The other silently hopes for structure, even without paperwork.

💭 What Families Think Benefits Are	💬 What Nannies Often Mean by “Benefits”
“Benefits” = health insurance, 401(k), or corporate-style perks	Guaranteed hours = paid for being available, regardless of whether you are needed that day
Off-the-books = no benefits needed	Off-the-books = benefits like sick days, holidays and overtime pay are still required
Flexible = we’ll figure things out as we go	Flexible = unclear expectations, inconsistent hours
At-home setting = no formal policies	At-home setting ≠ no boundaries, it’s still an employee/employer relationship, even if it feels informal
Verbal agreement = trust, flexibility, open to interpretation	Verbal agreement = still an agreement, even without paperwork, that should be honored like a contract
Live-in = free room & board percieved as generous	Live-in = less privacy, always "at work" mindset, more time away from your own family
On-the-books = protected by law, with retirement and unemployment benefits	On-the-books = legal protections apply, but also means higher insurance costs and lower take-home pay after taxes
Higher pay = the benefit you get by going off the books	Higher pay = still requires benefits, without them, you risk caregiver burnout

Who’s Right?

In nanny groups, benefit expectations spark some of the most heated and confused discussions.

Some caregivers say benefits are tied to legal status. Others argue it’s all up to what you negotiate. Still others believe certain basics, like paid time off or respectful communication, should be assumed no matter how you're paid.

But when you actually scroll through the threads and read what working nannies are saying, one thing becomes clear: there’s no shared understanding of what’s required, what’s optional, or what’s even possible off the books.

"I've been off the books since 2017, the only benefit I’ve received is a transportation allowance. I’ve never experienced paid vacation leave... Is this only for on-the-books employees?"
— Anonymous member, private Facebook nanny group, 2025

"If you agree on overtime pay then you should receive it. If not, you can have a conversation about it, but there are no guarantees."
— Anonymous member, private Facebook nanny group, 2025

"Whether you get paid on the books or not, you are still entitled to vacation time and sick days."
— Anonymous member, private Facebook nanny group, 2025

"If you're paid legally you get overtime which is 1.5 times your payrate… If you're paid under the table… you are the same rate for all hours."
— Anonymous member, private Facebook nanny group, 2025

The confusion is real. And it’s not just nannies who are unclear. Many families don’t realize that some protections are mandated by law, while others only exist if written into a private agreement. So what’s the truth?

Legal vs. Optional: What’s a Right, and What’s a Benefit?

Certain things, like minimum wage, overtime pay, and unemployment eligibility, are required by law, even for domestic workers. But benefits like paid vacation, guaranteed hours, or holiday bonuses are not required anywhere in the U.S., unless?

• They're explicitly required by your state (like paid sick leave in NYC or California)
• You've negotiated them and put them in writing.

Some states give more protection than others. In places like Massachusetts, a written contract is required by law. In Florida or Texas, there’s almost no legal backing, making private negotiation essential.

Benefit:	NY	CA	FL	MA	TX
Minimum Wage	✅ Yes	✅ Yes	✅ Yes	✅ Yes	✅ Yes
Overtime Pay (1.5×)	✅ Yes	✅ Yes	✅ Yes (fed law)	✅ Yes	✅ Yes (fed law)
Paid Sick Leave	✅ Yes (NY state + NYC law)	✅ Yes (CA sick leave)	❌ No	✅ Yes	❌ No
Meal/Rest Breaks	❌ No	✅ Yes (CA law)	❌ No	❌ No	❌ No
Paid Vacation	❌ No*	❌ No*	❌ No	❌ No*	❌ No
Guaranteed Hours	❌ No†	❌ No†	❌ No	❌ No†	❌ No
Written Contract Required	✅ Yes (NY requires notice)	❌ No	❌ No	✅ Yes	❌ No
Domestic Workers’ Bill of Rights	✅ Yes	✅ Yes	❌ No	✅ Yes	❌ No
Unemployment Eligibility	✅ Yes	✅ Yes	✅ Yes	✅ Yes	✅ Yes

* No state requires paid vacation by law (aside from a few sick/vacation days in NY and MA).

† Guaranteed hours: enforceable if written into a contract. Some families voluntarily agree to pay for a set number of hours even if they don’t need care (e.g., during vacation). Not required by any state law.

So You’re About to Start a New Job…

Maybe this time will be different. Maybe this time, you’ll actually sit down together and talk it all through. Not as a “boss” and an “employee,” but as two people about to share responsibility for the most important thing in the room: a child.

And this time, you’ll both know a little more. You’ll know what the law says, and what it doesn’t. You’ll know what you can realistically offer, and what you can’t. You’ll come to the table prepared, but also humbled, because at the end of the day, this isn’t just about benefits.

From the nanny’s side, it’s about stability: knowing you won’t lose income when the family travels, knowing you won’t burn out from long days that quietly stretch past the agreed time, knowing your care is valued beyond just the hours on the clock.

From the family’s side, it’s about trust: knowing the person you’ve hired will actually stay, knowing they’ll be present and reliable, knowing your child will be safe and loved in their care.

And somewhere between those two views lies the truth, benefits matter, but so does the work itself. The tone you set, the respect you show, the small things you do to make each other’s lives easier… they all matter more than a single clause in a contract.

So when you sit down at that table, whether it’s your kitchen table, a coffee shop, or just an email thread, remember this: You’re not negotiating in opposition. You’re building a working relationship that will shape a child’s daily life.

And in the end, it’s not just the paycheck, or the gas stipend, or the guaranteed hours that keep someone showing up. It’s feeling respected. It’s knowing the agreement means something. It’s the work itself, and the environment you create for each other, that truly lasts.

What to know more? Check out our Gray Area Guide: a quick look at what’s legal, what’s enforceable, and what’s just a handshake deal, whether you’re documented or not.